Blue Gun

I hated her blue eyes since the first time I saw them, probably because they made me love her, loving her was a mistake; you cannot  love a prey, the wolf would never love the sheep, I did.

Pain, I was hurt, could tell by the pressure, still I opened my eyes expecting a whole different thing.

-Welcome to England – those were her first words to me, the first time we met eyes.

-You are lucky to be alive, sometimes thought you would leave us – her smile was warm, like she had known since forever.

-Where am I? –  talking pained me, but I needed to know, my duty to the führer  was the priority, maybe I could get some intel before I went back.

-I told you England, now you need to rest I´ll be back later. – She left, for the first time.

I was in that bed 97 days 13 hours and 6 minutes, every day she come and went, I learned her name was Alice, she liked reading and before war wanted to teach, her favorite flower was gwendelion and that she was probably the most exquisite thing in the world. We were opposites, I was a machine, made to kill, I knew I was right and to have her I had to change her, show her the führer was illuminated and she would be mine.

I never changed her but she did change me, she highlighted what she said was the true me, the man before Hitler and war, before the and the hate.

I loved her more than anything, sometimes I was scared I Ioved her more than the cause, there was no way to deny how much her lips in mine crazed me, the way bodies danced was perfect. I could tell that we were made for each other; she melted the ice in my heart.

It was 110 days 3 hours and 2 minutes that our ideals broke us, my truth was her   lie, my right was her Wrong, 10 hours and 10 minutes later I left England.

It was 181 days, 6 hours and 12 minutes later that we attacked English refuges in Poland she was the most   beautiful I had ever seen her while protecting those children, fearless with a weapon in her hand, she helped them out, she saved them and looked at me, there was no much joy in her eyes any more, the pain of war had reached her, still the second our gaze met I saw those oceans warm a little and I smiled.

–       Geert, come on kill her already and let’s go for the big fish – once again she had made me forget our surroundings, a tear went down her cheek.

There I was the choice before me, love or duty, she spoke.

–       It is fine, I love you forever, I forgive you, I hope you can forgive me – I did not get it at ones, not until she placed the gun in her head and fired.


She had told me ones she had promised herself to never take a life, that day she took two, hers and mine.

Laura Castañeda 11D